I'm with you on this, zackdog. The longer term benefits of what you call "hard/easy" are superior to the short term fix of "easy/hard". The most elegant explanation for this, I think, is Richard Solomon's
Opponent process theory of emotion, about which I've blogged. I think this fits well also with Kagan's theory of happiness. Julien Smith also blogs a lot about the importance of taking risks and putting aside what you call "an over commitment to safety". You can check out my
3-part interview/guest blog series with Julien and also see what he has written lately at
inoveryourhead. Thanks also for the other books and references you provided.