Author Topic: looking back at life  (Read 1732 times)

Offline CapitalPrince

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looking back at life
« on: March 05, 2014, 08:19:48 PM »
I realize how profoundly vision affects a person's life. When i had perfect vision, I felt like i could take on the world. I was always had a very quick temper about everything. It was as if it was "me against the world". For some reason, all i could "see" was were things i didn't like and i complained about everything in my life. I never took the time to notice the small details and just appreciate how beautiful the world is.

As i became myopic, i felt my world closing in and I became more introverted. For some reason I gave up some of the goals I was working for like the USA math Olympiad and Siemens competition.
But the experience also made me realize the truly magnificent nature of the human body. and the gift of perfect sight should not be taken for granted.

After 4 years of high school, I felt like I was focused on too much "want" in life. I wanted to get to a top college, be at the top of my class, I wanted to be a millionaire. 4 years of sleepless nights doing work until 2pm i lost one of the most precious things in my life: my vision. If i can do it all over again, I would stop worrying so much in my life and just appreciate the beautiful world more. Take a walk everyday, notice the beautiful trees, notice the clouds, and not let the small things bother me. I would stop with all the silly wants in my life and focus on the present. If only i could do it all over again....
« Last Edit: March 05, 2014, 08:21:28 PM by CapitalPrince »

Offline chris1213

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Re: looking back at life
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2014, 09:42:46 PM »
I agree, and your story sounds pretty much like mine.

Offline CapitalPrince

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Re: looking back at life
« Reply #2 on: March 12, 2014, 05:19:39 PM »
There's some connections between myopia and depression. This post isn't all about vision i guess. i always felt lonely on the inside, and my myopia seem to exacerbate that. I made no close friends in high school (seriously). For some reason i just never connected with people. It seems that i never follow the "majority opinion", and the people around me just don't understand the "truth" (not just vision, but about ANYTHING).

In a sense i WISHED i was myopic in high school because i didn't have to see other people. I just put my nose in the book and tried to focus on some academic goals. I quit soccer (which is a major reason for my myopia).

So basically this post was about how empty i feel even though i "accomplished" alot. I just never appreciated the beauty of the world until i became myopic. In a sense my "depression" is alot more crucial than my myopia. Several times during the school year i cried for whatever reason, loneliness,  stress, etc,

But yes i am wearing the plus and doing various methods of stuff to get me out of this mess.

Offline OtisBrown

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Re: looking back at life
« Reply #3 on: March 12, 2014, 05:28:22 PM »
Hi Sam,

Subject:  I would describe myself - as being very similar to you.

Item: For myself, I just "wondered" if my "school environment", created "negative status" for my natural eyes.

I know you are going to have your own opinion on that subject.  For my self, I would be extremely happy if I was confirming my Snellen at 20/20, meaning LEGAL Snellen, meaning I read 1/2 the letters correctly.

It would be valuable for me to know that if I did not wear the plus (for all close work), my refractive STATE (self-measure) would be certain to go down by an additional -1.5 diopters (in a four year college).

So, in my "educated opinion" you are very lucky.  You have a choice. You might not feel that passing the 20/20 line (though four years of college) is a success - but it is.

This is a "fighting chance" - never a guarantee.  It is indeed a matter of your personal judgment.


Offline CapitalPrince

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Re: looking back at life
« Reply #4 on: March 12, 2014, 08:09:56 PM »
Sorry this has nothing to do with my vision, but for some reason i'm totally burnout at life. I just feel depressed, alone. I know alot of people at school, but i never really had any friends. when you have no friends, you really just don't want to make friends. I just can't connect with other people even when i try to hangout with others.

so i guess i try to find something to do on these forums.

learning about the truth of the optical industry didn't exactly make me fit in. Friends and teachers notice i am wearing "strange and strong lenses". i was taunted and somewhat ostracised as "unorthodox or weird".
Don't people THINK that when people are wearing thicker and thicker glasses SOMETHING is wrong. I do not understand, as well as alot of other things.

Also i ostracized because i "questioned the teacher" and I didn't "go along with his tyranny". For some reason all the students are blind that 90% of the work is worthless and busywork.

It's very difficult to not be almost forced to "fit in" in the society in anything. Sigh...


Offline OtisBrown

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Re: looking back at life
« Reply #5 on: March 12, 2014, 08:50:48 PM »
Hi Sam,

It does take a considerable, "Force of Character" to wear the plus.  I promote the "plus wearing" for pilots - because they have the greatest need for it.

You can do some things the mitigate some of these effects.

1) Use the plus at home - and "skip it" at school.
2) You have legal 20/20 (read 1/2 the letters correctly) - that is very good.
3) My nephew make the "plus choice" - with my advocacy. (But he lived 300 miles away - so our conversations were short.)
4) He still uses the "plus" when he sees light "blur" out there.
5) He knew about the "Academy" -1.5 diopers down in four years.
6) He was convinced as to the consequences to his vision - if he did not "keep up" the wearing of the plus.

For those who do not understand - well I feel sorry - for them.

If at 0.0 diopters now - they will be wearing minus glasses - when in college.

Yes there were times when I was 'alone', and I am certain that a lot of teenagers feel that way.  Sports, and tennis are very good.  Part time jobs help.  This is the most difficult part of growing up.

But knowing how to prevent - and doing it - is indeed a matter of basic science. In the future - you could write about it.

In fact, in college, if in engineering, it would be an excellent research thesis.

Otis



Sorry this has nothing to do with my vision, but for some reason i'm totally burnout at life. I just feel depressed, alone. I know alot of people at school, but i never really had any friends. when you have no friends, you really just don't want to make friends. I just can't connect with other people even when i try to hangout with others.

so i guess i try to find something to do on these forums.

learning about the truth of the optical industry didn't exactly make me fit in. Friends and teachers notice i am wearing "strange and strong lenses". i was taunted and somewhat ostracised as "unorthodox or weird".
Don't people THINK that when people are wearing thicker and thicker glasses SOMETHING is wrong. I do not understand, as well as alot of other things.

Also i ostracized because i "questioned the teacher" and I didn't "go along with his tyranny". For some reason all the students are blind that 90% of the work is worthless and busywork.

It's very difficult to not be almost forced to "fit in" in the society in anything. Sigh...

Offline CapitalPrince

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Re: looking back at life
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2014, 08:18:41 AM »
hi otis,

I certainly wouldn't forgo the plus in any regard. I am fine if other people think i am "weird". I seem to have alot of emotional trouble lately. I lost my "vision" in life.

I am almost 18 now, so its the end of childhood for me.
I seem to have alot of bad memories, regrets, mistakes i made. Sometimes memories are the most painful and it hurts to think back.

It's also painful to see other people move on in life, have so many friends. I had to put a facade of happiness for 4 years of high school.

To be honest i envy those people who are "ignorant and happy". A scientific mind may be of great value, but scientific truth (in anything) is depressing. Learning about the optical industry "scam" didn't exactly make me optimistic towards life.

The education scam is actually much worse than the optical scam. I felt cheated out of a "education" and  spent 4 years doing mindless work.A school teacher is just as ignorant as an OD.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2014, 08:27:56 AM by CapitalPrince »